a sad sad truth about me

...my little journey here:

alright folks. so here it is. the story of my life.

you see these?

yeah ...every time i get behind these i get a grim GRIM reality check.

i am 26 and can't even see the E on an eye exam chart.

that's right.

if ya didnt know, now ya know:
i, maybelline daiana mccoy, at age freakin 26,
am legally blind.

yep. truth. LEGALLY blind:

• as in 20/200 vision
• as in if ya waived at me at target sans my glasses or contacts, chances are you were nothing but a big unknown color blob to me
• as in if someone were to waive a life threatening note in front of me i'd probably be toast unless the note was ohhh 6 inches FROM MY FACE!
  
• as in it's totally on my texas driver's license (still current cause i refuse to sell out to utah dmv---suckaaaas!)
• as in there was a time between 4th and 9th grade that i went w/out my thick big pink and gold rimmed glasses (pimp. i know) and had to be the ONLY kid chillen on the floor struggling to see the transparencies on them dang over head projectors (angry fist shake at mrs. burks who HAD to make it a point to state the obvious every.single.day! )
• as in in 9th grade moms used her tax refund to finally buy me a pair and i sure did sport them joints haaaard

[insert 9th, 10th, and 11th grade CHS b-ball pics with duct tape, clear tape and masking tape on frames ---my ghetto rigged/ masterpiece creation. lop sided and ALL]

• as in it stunk being the scrawniest/blindest center in all of west texas

[find and insert video of b-ball practices halted by coach watkins' whistle as he shook his head and watched me and my team mates crawl to find and pick up my notorious lens and dumb screw at both ends of the 3 point line---note to self: if ever allowed a redo of life, just choose perfect eye sight. save yourself the torture.]

• as in if ever on LOST i'd probably either bust a Sawyer and jack a random pair from the plane or inevitably be eaten by the polar bears seen a good 2 times on the island ( what the polar bears? on an island?---yup sure did get sucked in after episode 2)
• as in i totally get it from my papa's side and envy anyone with perfect vision (how is that even possible really!?!)
• as in im waaay too skeptical and petrified to EVER CONSIDER lasik (pansy-ish i know.i own it. and my eye balls)
• as in throughout college i managed to be broke as a joke and still have brand new contacts every now and then (worked it. found out dr.s are nice and hand out sweet "trial pairs" ---atleast 2 if your serious---which could be stretched out from 2 weeks to oh a good month and a half . AND i never paid for a bottle of solution----dag im good! ;)
• as in he
  

(sweet pose...all him. not me)

and i go way WAAAY back. and here we were. once again. sighhhhhhh... revisiting and re-diagnosing my typhlotic tendencies. it's been a minute but thanks to his copious little notes he managed to remember that i was once a poor college student, hate the dumb deceiving air blower in the eye ball thingy machine, never purchase my glasses in the states (since i get them basically for free and in abundance in PANAMA! woop woop), and am still blind as a bat.

and pretty much that's all she wrote. good thing i have an amazing hubster who'll get down on the floor with me when he sees me tearing the house apart, squinting, trying to find one of my four pairs of glasses. oh well...

c'est la vie




right?